My name is Kim Bongiorno. I am a freelance writer, author, blogger, public speaker, and consultant.
I am always ready for the next opportunity, whether it be publication in another book, freelance writing work, sponsored posts, social media/blogging consultation, or speaking engagements. Please see my experience below and contact me any time at TheKimBongiorno@Gmail.com.
I have been published in ten books, have completed another, am writing a new one now, have more novel ideas waiting in the wings for me to get to, and am always interested in pitching essays for anthologies on humor, parenting, life, or fiction.
But Did You Die?, June 2017
I Just Want to Be Perfect, May 2016
The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, April 2015
I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone, March 2015
Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays, November 2014
I Just Want to Be Alone, March 2014
“You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth”, August 2013
I JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE, February 2013 – A New York Times Best Seller
Part of My World: Short Stories, January 2013
Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-Ups, Break-Ups and Crack-Ups, November 2012
If you would like to be added to the mailing list for my upcoming YA/teen fiction novels, click here.
Let Me Start By Saying started in 2008 as a place for me to write about finding the humor in a life that kept throwing lemons at my head while I worked toward my end goal of being a full-time freelance writer and novelist. It has received accolades from Babble, HuffPostParents, NickMom, and BlogHer, as well as earned me the titles 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year (Inspiration) and Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom of 2011 and 2012. You can see some of my most popular posts here.
My favorites are Facebook and Twitter. I have experience as a Social Media Manager for a popular women’s humor website, and consult with both freelance writers and authors looking to learn how to use social media to promote their work.
I have made various Funniest Parents/Best of lists for my Facebook page, including Today Parents, Huffington Post Parents, and others.
Known best for humorous takes on parenting and women’s issues, I’ve made a successful career out of freelance writing for various websites, magazines, and newspapers. Whether I’m tackling the hot topic of the day, coming up with a visual concept for a parenting humor graphic, revealing my more sensitive side in a personal essay, working with a brand on a sponsored article, or playing with fiction, I love both pitching my own ideas and jumping on assignments.
My work has appeared on/in the following publications:
The Washington Post, Parents Magazine, Momtastic, Scary Mommy, Care.com, Babble, SheKnows, ForHer, FamilyEducation, NickMom, LifetimeMoms, The Huffington Post, In The Powder Room, The Mid, Mamalode, Today Parents, iVillage, Today’s Mama, Nickelodeon ParentsConnect, QueenLatifah.com, PopSugar, EverydayFamily, The Good Men Project, Mommy Shorts, Rants from Mommyland, Bonbon Break, BlogHer, All4Women, The Mouthy Housewives, FitFusion, gDiapers, Centsless Deals, NinjaMom, and others. See the full list here.
I also wrote and designed 150+ short online ebooks on topics such as humor, health, parenting, children’s stories, and more for the start-up company Britely.com.
I have experience writing sponsored content both on my blog and for larger websites, such as Momtastic, LifetimeMoms, and NickMom. I balance the needs of the brand and tone of the platform to craft content in my unique voice that appeals to the desired audience and keeps them engaged. Some of the brands I have written sponsored material for include Walmart, Old Navy, The Gap, Levis, Clorox, Popsicle, Huggies, Hasbro, Mattel, Glad, Hulu, Go-Gurt, Arm + Hammer, Disney Parks, Disney Cruise Line, Hilton, Serta, Principal Financial, United Healthcare, Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, Sunoco, LuLaRoe, Jimmy Dean, Culturelle, Natural Balance, various feature films, and made-for-television movies.
Over the years I have appeared in various films scripted by others, written and filmed my own scripts, and sold original short video scripts. Whether making shorts for my blog or sponsored vlogs for brands, I’m comfortable both behind and in front of the camera. You can see my film experience here.
Named the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop Humor Writer of the Month for February 2017.
Honored as a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year in the Inspiration category.
Listed as one of the “10 Funny Mom Bloggers You Should Read Today” on Babble (2012).
Voted a Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom in 2011 and 2012.
You can see clips, hear podcasts, and see various videos I am in here.
I love speaking to writing/blogging conference attendees about writing techniques, social media promotion, online professionalism, building an engaged audience, and other topics that help them get better at what they are passionate about. Teaching these things on a smaller scale or discussing anything writing and blogging related to others (including school-aged kids) also interests me.
2014 BlogU Conference, ‘How to Be a Better Writer’ and ‘From Blog to Book.’
2015 BlogU Conference, ‘Establishing a Professional Online Presence.’
2016 Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, as part of the Speed Dating for Writers panel. My subject was social media for authors.
2016 BlogU Conference, ‘Creating New Content: How to Come Up with Ideas for What to Write Next.’
I have done multiple book readings and author events. See more info on my events here.
In 2012, I created, launched, and wrote the holiday-season website ElfShaming.com.
Every Sunday (okay, most Sundays) I send out a newsletter with links to everything I wrote across the web, as well as the best things I read across the web and in print that week. Sign up here. View previous newsletters.
OH. YOU WANTED TO GET TO KNOW ME BETTER? HOW FUN!
Let’s immediately become friends on this crazy world wide web.
If you like internetty things, you can catch up with me by clicking any of the links below. I show different pieces of myself on each one:
Or get to know me by:
Checking out my more popular posts on my blog
Hiring me to write for you or speak at your event
Coming to one of my appearances/events
Reading blogs I read
Reading my books
Subscribing to my newsletter of awesomeness
This is me:
I began online journaling and message-boarding (totally a word we’re going to pretend is real) back in 2003, and launched my public blog Let Me Start By Saying in 2008. Communicating, reading, learning, creating and sharing are some of my favorite things, and I find the internet to be pretty fantastic for all that stuff–this is why I got hooked on it so quickly. Generally speaking, I only put photos of myself on the internet that make my family want to take away all iPhone privileges. Their tolerance of my shenanigans is one of the many reasons I adore them.
I’m 41 years old and live in the ‘burbs of New Jersey with my husband, 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son.
I am very tired.
I am a full-time professional writer who loves desserts. My goal in life was to have exactly this job, once my darling (loud) offspring were both in school. I was willing to work my butt off to get here. It feels damn good so far. Next up: regularly write novels that allow people to escape into the many worlds that live in my brain. I’ll let you know how that goes!
Guess what time it is! LIST TIME.
21 Things About Me
1. I like lists. People like my lists. Not my OCD grocery shopping ones. The funny ones.
2. I am the 6th (and last) kid of a combined 3 marriages. Let’s just say that even close friends need a flow chart when I discuss my family.
3. I knew my husband was The One the day we met. He thought I was very tall.
4. I chose my daughter’s name when I was about 11 years old, planning my life once I married Ralph Macchio or Kirk Cameron.
5. I went to college to be a Literature teacher. I love books. I collect old ones and smell them regularly.
6. I didn’t graduate college, and ended up in sales in the Financial Industry. Blech.
7. I can wiggle my eyes.
8. I write all. The. Time. Snippets of stuff is constantly in my brain, fighting to get out. It’s like I’m a really normal-looking person with a slew of characters living in my head. I write down what I can in my phone & email it to myself to make the voices stop. When I literally dream up stories, I try to write them up in my dream journal when I wake up, to work on later.
9. My cat thinks she is a dog. I have had her for 18 years, and she still doesn’t believe me when I tell her she is, in fact, a cat. She even barks.
10. I had a dream that starred two characters I ended up writing a book about.
11. I could live on coffee, margaritas, breakfast food, dessert and Mexican fare for the rest of my life. Since I don’t want to be a over-caffeinated obese drunk, I exercise regularly and try to restrain from this lifestyle. Sometimes I even succeed at being restrained.
12. I had two kids in less than two years, yet ten years before trying to get pregnant my doctor told me I’d have a very hard time getting pregnant, ever. Two kids is a miracle I treasure every day. Even when they are doing their best to annoy the crap outta me.
13. I’m pretty sure my DVR is my best friend. I cry when she’s not feeling well and doesn’t record things properly.
14. In the space of a year, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my aunt fought and lost a long battle with cancer, my father died of cancer and my brother had a heart attack in his 30s. I really want to be here for my family for as long as possible, so with the perspective of someone who keeps seeing scary mortality stuff from the front row far too many times, I’m doing what I can to keep healthy, stay healthy, and talk the rest of my and husband’s family into doing the same.
15. When I was a grade-school kid, I wrote a letter to my future self per assignment requirements. In it, I was writing to a tanned, long-haired single girl who had travelled the world in the Peace Corps. If she only knew she’d instead be talking to a pasty, short-haired married mom of two who went from pounding the pavement in the NYC financial industry to life as a suburban Stay-at-Home-Mom within a few years….well, maybe her advice would be a bit different.
16. I preface everything, thus the title of the blog. I’m not sure my friends like the quirk or think I need to stop it immediately.
17. I get mistaken for a man on a regular basis. This confirms my belief that people don’t actually look at who they are speaking to any more.
18. I have always loved to travel, but it took me 37 years before I got to Europe. The experience was worth every minute of my patience.
19. I’m allergic to chocolate. It’s actually a metabolic intolerance, but essentially it just means I have to avoid it like the plague. Seriously, life without chocolate? Very, very hard.
20. I have always wanted to be a writer, and have been working hard to get my voice Out There for a long time. You should read my stuff, then tell other people to do the same. We would be BFFs if you did this regularly. If you’re looking to hire a writer? I’m your gal. And you look really lovely today.
21. My friend bullied me into blogging more regularly and seriously in 2008, saying it would help my writing if I wrote about writing and all the stuff Life throws at me (like lemons…and poop) that gets in the way along this journey to the career I always wanted. It was probably the best advice I ever got.
So here I am. Still on a journey, still dealing with things that get in my way, but always thankful that I get to do it.